Measuring Up

When we are not feeling confident, we tend to criticize ourselves and compare ourselves to others. We may feel we don’t measure up to someone else because we perceive ourselves as less talented or less attractive or less deserving or any other ‘less than’ statements. People in our lives can also contribute to our feelings of inadequacy when they make comparisons by saying things like, “Why can’t you be more like (insert name)?” This leads to feelings of dissatisfaction, resentment, jealousy, and low self-esteem.

Just because someone seems like they have it all together, they appear to be a huge success, and life is perfect for them, doesn’t mean that this is the case. We rarely see the entire picture; we usually only see part of it. Just because they are successful in one part of their lives doesn’t necessarily mean that they are successful and happy in other parts of their lives.

Always be yourself–express yourself, have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

Bruce Lee

We don’t have to measure up to anyone else. When we compare ourselves to others, we are not honoring ourselves. We end up losing sight of what makes us unique. We all have our own gifts and talents; it might take a while to discover them, but they are there. Just because we don’t fit into someone else’s idea of what is beautiful or successful or whatever, doesn’t mean we are any less beautiful or successful in our own way.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

When we put forth our best efforts and focus on being our best self without comparing ourselves to anyone else, we nurture our self-confidence. Not everyone can be a CEO, the next internet sensation, prodigy, or world-renowned surgeon, and that’s okay. All we need to focus on is cultivating our own talents and living our lives in an authentic way that best suits us.

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

John Wooden

When we are feeling insecure and we lack the confidence to try something new, or if we fail when we do try, we tend to think and speak unkindly about ourselves. No one is exactly the same as another. It is imperative that we stop comparing ourselves to others, letting go of the fear that we are not enough, and say “no” to thoughts that make us feel small, undeserving, or worthless. It is time to focus on what we do have, and our self-confidence will expand as we continue to grow, learn, adapt, nurture our own special abilities, and accept ourselves just as we are. Only then can we shine our light and share our authentic selves with the world.

“Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.”

Barrie Davenport