It is important to be in touch with our own needs and desires, and to release the impulse to always try to please others without regard for our own feelings and emotions. When we constantly give up our own wants and quell our feelings just to get along with someone else, then we are committing a disservice to ourselves and to the other person as well. Each of us has the innate right to our own thoughts, emotions, and ideas. If someone does not respect the fact that we do not think exactly as they do, then that is their problem, and we should not let it become our problem.
The truth is, we are not all the same. We have different likes and dislikes, opinions, and perspectives. This does not necessarily mean that one is better than another, or that one should totally disregard someone else’s thoughts without at least trying to understand where they are coming from. Yet, it also does not mean we have to accept their viewpoints as our own, especially if it goes against what we believe in our heart to be right and true for us.
A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you’re not living in alignment; you’re not be being true to yourself.
Steve Maraboli
Conflict can cause serious harm to a relationship if not managed in a respectful way. While some conflict is natural and unavoidable, it is important to work together to find a compromise that is acceptable to everyone involved. This means actively listening to the other person and trying to understand their side. If one person consistently gives in and lets the other have their way, then they will feel they are not being listened to and that their opinions and viewpoints are somehow wrong or unimportant. And make no mistake, there will be resentment and anger. It may not show up right away, and it may make itself known when dealing with something else entirely, but it will be there, simmering away until it reaches a ‘boiling point’.
It is not always easy to compromise and reconcile with someone we’re in conflict with, because pride can get in the way and then communication breaks down and exacerbates the problem. The point is, don’t let it get that far. No one will get everything their way every time, but by trying to resolve conflicts in a peaceful, respectful way it can help the relationship to be healthy and successful. By letting people be who they are, without trying to ‘fix’ something about a person or situation that we feel may be wrong, we can choose to let go of that need to change anything and allow ourselves to be at peace. Just because it may be wrong for us does not mean it is necessarily wrong in the full scheme of things.
Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.
William James
The Weekly Post 