Sometimes we encounter people (and I’m talking about adults here) whom we feel are not living their best life. People who behave in ways that, to us, may seem detrimental. We may feel that we know how to ‘fix’ the problem, or if we could only make them see just how much better it would be if they followed our sage advice, then their life would be great. After all, we’re doing such an awesome job with our own life, right? And of course, we love it when other people offer unsolicited advice on our personal business, right? No? Ahem.
So, here’s the thing – it’s not our place to do that. While we can offer guidance or help – which we should only do when asked – oftentimes they do not want or need our help or our input. Just like we don’t always want or need it from others. Now there will be times when they do, and that’s great, but they must ask for help, otherwise they will not really be open to what you have to say. And there will be exceptions to this: if they pose a danger to themselves or others, then we must do what we can to keep everyone safe.
Each person is here to learn his or her own lessons and to grow and develop in the areas that is unique to him or her. We may have learned something in our own journey that can be of help to someone else, and often we want to share what worked or did not work for us. However, everyone is different and what worked for us may very well not work for someone else. On the other hand, we may not have encountered a particular issue and cannot understand what another is going through or why they may be having a challenging time with it. In this case, any advice we try to give, however well-meaning it may be, is often unhelpful.
No matter how difficult it is to see another person struggling in some area of their life, we cannot live it for them. We cannot take on another person’s lessons. It just doesn’t work like that. We don’t have the authority to set about changing others, we only have the authority to change ourselves.
We have to live our own lives to the best of our own abilities and let others do the same. Offer compassion, a listening ear, and be as supportive as possible – but remember, ultimately it is up to each one of us to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives, and to learn our own lessons.
You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you.
Miguel Ruiz
The Weekly Post 