Forgiveness is something many people tend to struggle with – not just with forgiving others, but also with forgiving ourselves. What we need to understand is that forgiveness is NOT about condoning what is in need of being forgiven, it is the conscious release of the weight that comes from having been stuck in the situation and being unable to move forward with our life.
We are human, and there are times that we make mistakes. The act of forgiveness is one of the keys to living a free, happy life, but it is important to remember that it is not for the other person’s sake that we forgive, it is for ours. However, this does not mean that we condone what happened or that we will forget about it, it just means we take care of our own mental health and let go of the poison of anger, guilt, resentment, etc. and allow ourselves to heal. Yet, before we can really forgive anyone else, we must be willing to forgive ourselves – and this is sometimes harder than forgiving others.
If we have an unhealthy attachment to anger and resentment by refusing to forgive, we are allowing the situation to steal our power and dignity, which contributes to emotional dis-ease which will eventually become physical disease. When we choose to release the negativity we are holding onto, we open ourselves up to more peace, happiness, well-being, and self-esteem.
It’s imperative to take time to reflect on what happened and then move away from judgment into a space of forgiveness and embrace the lesson from the experience. We can use this as an opportunity to find compassion – for ourselves as well as others -and make amends for our mistakes or allow others to make amends to us.
Of course, there will be people who will not want to, nor feel the need to, make amends for their misdeeds, and this can be challenging to deal with. However, if we can find a way to forgive, it will free us to release the past, allow us to move forward in peace, and embrace a brighter future.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Lewis B. Smedes
The Weekly Post 
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