Most people make an effort to be compassionate toward others. However, many of those same people are not kind enough to themselves and have difficulty “finding time’ to take care of themselves or accept that they deserve to be happy. Harshly judging oneself, or comparing oneself to another, or worrying about the future and/or fretting about the past all take a lot of energy! If we put as much energy into taking care of ourselves and being kind to ourselves as we do in taking care of others, or worrying, or self-judging, then life would be much more pleasant for everyone.
You must take care of yourself, in order to be able to help others. Yes, taking care of others is important, but you are important, too. If you constantly put other people’s needs ahead of your own, you will wear yourself down, become resentful, and eventually make yourself sick – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Really, how is that helping anyone?
You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else, and it is okay to be happy! Just because someone else is miserable – and as we all know, misery loves company – it does not mean that we must be miserable, too. Sometimes it is necessary to distance yourself from people who just want to bring you down and make you as miserable as they are. They have no desire to make things better, and they don’t want you to, either.
Being harsh and comparing yourself to others is definitely NOT being kind to yourself! No one is perfect, and everyone has problems. That’s life. If you think negative thoughts about yourself (I’m too this, not enough that, never, always…) then you are setting yourself up for damaging, unkind thought patterns. If there is something you don’t like about yourself, start making small changes to fix it. And I do mean start small. Trying to take on too much at one time will most likely cause you to give up sooner or later. Taking one step at a time will help you to incorporate new, better habits and will support your long-term goals.
Be kind to yourself; you are worth it!
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
Jack Kornfield
The Weekly Post 